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Archive for December 2005
Seasons greetings n’ happy holidays. What a lovey feast I had this past Eve, and more to come Sunday afternoon when my family heads out to my aunt’s in the country. I saw my sister Tricia at last (Sat. Eve) whom I haven’t seen in over a year. Spent lots of time with my brother Matt since he’s been back from AZ. Had a little bonfire at the pit a little ways from where I live on Friday night, where we also ran into some other kids doing one also, but theres’ was going out by the time we met up. We ought to do a better one later in the week, though all in all we had lots of fun with the quad in the snow. It’s turning out to be quite the winter season so far. 😉
I think its pretty neat how nobody noticed these extra features of Uranus until now. It is truely as bizarre as its name sounds, which is often made fun of and mis-pronounced. Its actually said as OOR-a-nus, from the Greek god Ouranos [link]
This 5,000 year old tea has many health benefits, including fighting cancer it seems. I really should start drinking tea again. 😉
“GNU Queue makes it easy to cluster Linux workstations. If you already know how to control jobs running on your local machine, you already know how to control remote jobs using GNU Queue. You don’t even need special privileges to install and run GNU Queue on your cluster–anyone can do it.”
This is how the Big Four (the music cartel) treat their consumers, by sueing them into the poor house and going after their children.
Went through a mildly rough patch with my girl, but things are back on the upside again (not that anyone cares, since not many read personal blogs from what I understand). On another note, going through a family situation, nothing too horrible, but its that my sister Tricia, who has been away with other guardians for a long period, was pulled out some time ago as the result of a dramatic epidsode that took place between her and our biological mom (I’m with my dad/step-mom) details I won’t get into. After DCF pulled her out, she’s been with an aunt, and just recently we (my family and I here) find out that she was ‘dumped’ in a foster home, which strangely enough is just down the road. I’ve kept in contact with my sister the whole time through email, and the DCF worker that’s appointed to her will stop over here to chat with us, to pretty much get to know us and check us out, and if she deems this a “safe environment” (which it very well is), she may be allowed to attend our xmas eve party which we hold here every year, which would be a first time thing for my sister, as she is usually on the estranged side of the family, her first happy holiday in some time. Another shocker, she may turn out to be my blood-sister, my only full sibling, the others being halves and a step sibling, but I always considered them equals. If found to be fact, she may even end up staying here with us one day soon. Interesting holiday it will be this year, my other brother Matt who’s been in AZ is on his way back here as we speak, things didn’t work out for him there, so he’ll be here for xmas eve as well. 🙂 Looks like someone up there is working double time to earn those wings.
That DCF worker was here tonight, met everyone, then talked with my parents. She won’t be cleared to come here by Christmas, in fact not even next week, maybe longer, because of formal stuff, paper work, and whatever other hoops the state makes you jump through. One good thing though, is that she was already cleared to be with her father (which turned out not to be, but still is in a sense) over the Christmas weeked. So when my brother Matt is here, we can just stop by his father’s house (yes, her “father” is his father) to visit Tricia, which is cool.
Woo, had a fun time yesterday, at last! Me and my girlfriend saw Narnia, it was pretty good. It truely did have a heavy Christian over in areas, but I enjoyed the story and the animals and mythical creatures. Came back to my place and basically just chilled out and ate a medium pizza with some breadsticks, that shit was good, only thing I had all day, since I went to bed at three and woke at 1pm. She stayed over night too which was a nice change, since I’m always going over to her place. I never seem to sleep real well there, plus her cats give me allergies, so definately slept better in my own bed, roomier too. 🙂 She headed back for her place this morning, has her Sunday errands and whatnot, had our long romantic goodbye… always so hard for us to part, especially since we only see each other a couple times a week.
I hate my life. I hate living here. May I some day find peace in this world with it’s singular over-bearing creed. May I one day be truely free.
Edit: Just me being over dramatic yet again, I’m not really this screwed up… honest. lol :-p
That’s part of a new practice I’m learning, (though not so new) to find a place or way of venting any negative build up before having it blow up like a bomb at the wrong time and place, and so that it won’t be a distracting emotion when I do my altar work. It’s a way for me to control anger, without letting it control me. Although, for my first attempt, maybe it was a bit harsh? I also gave no one any warning, so some people may have been offended, but what good is a personal blog if I can’t say what I want? Hope an understanding comes of this technique; Could have given a fair warning but was directed the process would not have been as effective if I waited to warn and explain it ahead of time, as this is something quite recent. Wasn’t going to do it at first, but something, namely someone, pissed me off to the 10th power. Maybe at the end of the day I’m truely nice, but I apologize; I’ll find another way next time. I do feel better now though.
What’s wrong with people in this world? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? What is wrong with youth? Why does everybody treat each other like shit and disrespect everyone. A man who calls a woman discriminating names is a fucking coward with a weak inner self that is not of a man, but of a boy, a wussy, know-it-all, piece of trash. People like this, the assholes of the world, make me crazy, so crazy I feel I could lose all control of my will and straight up fucking murder someone, no joke. At times I’ve desired to take so many peoples life, but I’m not a coward who has to disrespect or obliterate everything he hates. Most of all I hate dogmatic, self-reighteous, I’m better than you because we say so pieces of fucking shit, and I want them all to fucking choke on their own piss and blood and die the most violent, caustic, pestilent death of all time. I want to see their eyes melt right out of their ugly heads, and watch their close-minded brains boil right in their fucking skulls, and have their skin blister, pop, then dry up and crumble away, only leaving their flesh which the great black ravens will devour until there’s nothing but bones which I’ll then proceed to dance on and bash with a giant blacksmith’s hammer into a fine powder. I don’t even care who reads this because right now I just don’t give a flying fuck about nobody. I’ll mass murder the whole populous of earth at once leaving me in a lonely bliss.